Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Do you know that one?
Well, I disagree. I disagree with it big time.
Words sting. They burn, in fact. And, sometimes they cut us so deeply, we feel it at our core.
Wait, isn’t this a blog about happiness? It is. But, stick with me, okay? Sometimes in order to step into the light we have to walk through the shadows.
Lately I’ve been holding on for dear life to some words that were said to me not too long ago. Inexcusable, hurtful things that, well, are clearly very hard for me to let go of. They are things I don’t want to believe to be true. Things I want nothing to do with.
We’ve all be there, right? Your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, your neighbor, your ex-boyfriend, your ex-husband, your sister-in-law, your mother-in-law, the 5th grade bully, heck, maybe even the stranger who just passed you with a case of road rage. Whoever itwas, words were said that you didn’t like, and you wish they could be taken back.
The thing with words is that they stick with you. Especially the negative ones. It’s easy to let them live on inside of you forever wreaking havoc on your wellbeing. Basic neuroscience tells us that our brains are wired for this. We let all of the positivity, the praise, the heartfelt compliments, the accolades roll right off of us. It’s as if we instantly forget them, and instead we hold steadfastly to that one dreaded, awful thing.
This is one of the most detrimental things we can do for our own happiness. Alright, now that that’s out there. Let’s move on.
How does one ‘get over it?’ I believe mastering ‘the art of getting over it’ is one of the secrets to living a happy and ‘full-filling’ life.
First, let’s call on Byron Katie for a truth bomb. She says, ‘Who is more hurtful: the person who wronged you once or you for reliving it over and over in your head?’
You are the more hurtful one.
You have the reigns.
See, it’s through the hanging on that you become the one who only hurts yourself. If that’s not freeing, I don’t know what is. Take a stand for your own liberation.
Next, I’ve got news for you… hurt people hurt people. That’s the way it works. So what they said, it’s not even about you. It’s about them. It’s about their hurt that they’ve bottled up and decided to toss – well, throw – on over to you. Refuse to catch it.
Third, people are just doing the best they can with what they’ve been given. Remember that. Their soul is on it’s own unique journey with it’s own set of challenges, and a particular set of lessons to be learned. Let them be on their own path. You don’t have to be on it with them.
Finally, choose to love them. Um, what!? Yup. Love feels better than hate, doesn’t it? The way we decide to feel about people is completely up to us. Isn’t loving someone so much better than hating them? After all, you are the one who feels your feelings and lives in your body. So choose pleasant feelings by choosing to believe pleasant thoughts. They don’t even have to know.
When we can master this process, we’re refusing to contribute to the cycle of hurt in this world. We’re saying, ‘I will not let this bring me down,’ and we’re simultaneously choosing not to decrease the vibration of our planet.
Set them free. You have the power to heal. More importantly, the world needs it.
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